January 26, 2017


Life can get heavy when we bear the burden of attachments and entanglements to Earthly things.

As I think back to almost a year ago when I sold and gave away pretty much everything I owned…and moved to Cape Verde with only two pieces of luggage…I better understood liberation. For so long, I felt like I couldn’t move or make big changes because I would have to deal  with all of my stuff…literally physical stuff. I was bound to these things in a way that went beyond ownership. It entangled my mind and emotions to consider what I would have to do to deal with all of the stuff. I had so much energy tied up in those things and I didn’t even know it.

A life of simplicity is the highest goal because it helps avoid unnecessary pitfalls that come from dealing with truly meaningless stuff that feels so meaningful. It frees energy and gives you the opportunity to pursue more meaningful explorations.

But beyond things, attachment has many forms. To people, to circumstances, and to thoughts and feelings…we can easily become attached. We can become attached to a person we are in a relationship with…just as we can become attached to the idea that some other person does not deserve our forgiveness. Detachment is not automatic…it requires awareness.

Once we become aware of the possibilities beyond our limited perception, our desire to hold on to things wanes. We begin to identify with freedom. And peace. We are able to let go and be free.


January 21, 2017


As I grabbed my computer to write a post yesterday, it was unresponsive. After spending some time charging and working through various troubleshooting steps, I was forced to confront the fact that after 7 years of faithful service, my MacBook Pro might indeed be toast. I accepted that reality and went to sleep last night haha

Since I’m back on the island, I don’t have the luxury of popping by an Apple Store, so for now I must use other devices and be thankful that I have those available. While my thoughts yesterday were about hope and the awareness that we have more than we think we do (no doubt inspired by the inauguration of Trump which still does not feel completely real to me), today my thoughts about desires and changes.

I think simply because change is inevitable, there is no end to desires. In many ways, we want life to be stagnant. We want to keep a certain feeling, a certain love, a trusty computer, or beloved President, but that is not how life works. Change happens. And as a result, desires are born. We may want to go back to a desired past or create a desired future. We may want this thing or that thing…this person or that person… The point is we typically desire something.

We imagine having control over every situation. And we may fail to see the bigger picture and lack the vision to see how everything blends together perfectly. We may feel styimied because our plans have been interrupted, but what if that change was necessary to put us back on our true course? (I am facing this reality as my plans for today were to record sample podcasts on my computer, which does not appear to be an option at present. Maybe the direction was intended to be for me to pen my next book?! ;)

If we can look upon these unexpected changes as blessings in disguise, our perspective shifts. We understand there is a higher power at work and we trust that the Universe is for us and unfolding in a way that is happening for our highest good. While it is natural to have desires, we cannot allow our lives to be led by them. Instead, having a spirit of gratitude for all that we have and faith for all that will be revealed allows us to ease any anxiety we might feel.

In all things, if we can flow with the unfolding of events like water and do only what we need to do (when we need to do it), we can find great peace.  We must acknowledge how all of our needs are being met and be thankful.

Desires come and go, but (like thoughts), we must simply watch them. We have to avoid getting ourselves unnecessarily tangled in the drama of trying to force a way when peace is most often found by letting it go. We do what we can and realize that must always be enough.




Photo source: My mobile phone — Cabo Verde :)

January 14, 2017


So often when we think of freedom, we think of the ability to do what we want when we want. This is one definition, but I find that internal traps that we create for ourselves can prevent us from getting to that point.

As I think of freedom now, I think of:

- Freedom from judgement

- Freedom from the need to be right (Freedom from always being right, too!)

- Freedom from criticism (self-criticism included)

- Freedom from feeling like everything has to be done right now (or yesterday…patience is really a virtue)

- Freedom from creating and enforcing restricting expectations of ourselves or others

- Understanding that it is okay to ask for help when needed. And that it is okay to ask for what you really want and need.

- Freedom to BE

- Allowing others the freedom to be

During my trip around the States, I received several messages from the Universe that I’m not quite there yet haha. But I think this newfound awareness has helped me to identify areas that require some release and I’m working on it.

Whenever we hold onto restricting viewpoints and expect others to confine to our way of being, we miss an opportunity for connection. Even if we tell ourselves that we are saying or doing those things to help others, we have to be cautious that we are not feeding our own egoic need to feel like a savior.

With that said, I still think boundaries are important. And I don’t think there is harm in communicating how you feel about something (or communicating to establish boundaries), as that might open up an opportunity for healing. But I think the sweet spot is found in loving in a way that others feel free without compromising ourselves in the process. We have to check if we are in other people’s business or our own. Are we creating limiting relationships or developing opportunities for expansion?

Chasing and forcing are unproductive. Letting things flow and remaining open gives us a chance to grow. It also provides others with the freedom to grow, too. The beauty of diversity in thought, opinion, and action is that it creates the potential for us to have a broader experience of life.

If someone is expressing an opinion that you don’t agree with, would it really kill you to remain open and listen politely? And to take that a step further, would it hurt to simply (and genuinely) thank the person for sharing their opinion without feeling the need to argue? If the other person is open to exchanging ideas, that is a beautiful thing. But that is not always the case, and there is growth in recognizing that someone is not in an energetic place to hear what you have to say. Sometimes, that person may need to work out their feelings about a situation just by talking it out. When you create space for compassionate listening, that too is a healing opportunity.

So I’m still learning. But I realize that things are not always as black and white as we want them to be. In all that is, we find that each creation is really just a unique mixture of ideas, experiences, and energy. As we can appreciate the beauty of the mix, we can love what IS instead of withholding love until that person (or thing) is what we desire it to be. Boundaries can still be held, but we don’t have to compromise our loving nature in the process.

In this journey to be authentically ourselves, I think it’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to appreciate those who open a window for you. Sometimes it can be a bit painful when you realize that person is holding a mirror up to you and revealing the thorn in your eye. (It is not always easy to see for yourself that you aren’t as open and loving as you thought you were!) But as we recognize this, we can take steps to remove those thorns and have more clear vision. In that way, we free ourselves. And in freeing ourselves, we always free others. And as we open more windows and breathe in the fresh air, we find that that air feels like freedom. And then internal walls we have built start falling down :)

Namaste <3

Photo source: The Great Wall of China


Author note: Written on flight from LA to NYC.

January 5, 2017


One of my favorite restaurants in LA is called Cafe Gratitude. As I sit in the downtown Arts District location, I’m filled with so much gratitude. The time that I have been able to spend with family and friends during this trip has been incredible!  And the kindness and love I’ve been shown is hard to put into words. I’ve been gifted healing sessions and meals…had so many people make time to hang out…and so many good vibes shared. And what an honor to have my book sell out at all retail locations in LA! Wow! Just today, when I took more books to M’Pressions (a greaaat shop that sells the book in a Redondo Beach), I had the fortune to meet a beautiful spirit who bought the book on the spot and asked me to sign it…the same thing happened when I brought more books to Alice’s Quiet Mind Bookstore at the Agape International Spiritual Center. These experiences were such a gift from the Universe! I am thankful. And I am inspired by everyone cheering me on for my next (undetermined) project! Angels, one and all ;)

Sometimes our path can feel fuzzy. We are unsure of what direction to take and we can get caught up in our indecision. But I’m reminded that there is only one decision that needs to be made at a time. All of the competing noise is just that. Centering ourselves in gratitude for all that IS allows us to be prepared for all that will be.

I met with a lovely energetic healer this week who challenged me with this question: “What if the world is perfect as it is?” What if the world didn’t need saving? What if this world of duality is just a school meant to teach us how to get in tune with our True Self? What if that loving connection is all that we really long for and need? What if all of these dramas are playing out in the world to get us THERE?

So many questions :) But as we expand our consciousness and LIVE the questions, we are inexplicably led back to a place of gratitude.

May we rise above the nonessential and lose ourselves in love. In this moment, I hope that you breathe in beauty and feel the love that always surrounds you.

Namaste. And so much love to all of the beings of light who make my world shine brighter. <3


Photo source: My phone ;)


December 31, 2016


Ram Dass said, “If you think you are enlightened, spend a week with your family.” I saw this just after being with my family for a week in Texas and I laughed out loud haha!

Specifically, I think I could have been more patient. I have the kindest, most generous and loving mother in the world who would immediately give me the shirt from her back if I said I was chilly. And in my own independence, I realized that I didn’t know how to respond to her frequent offers to help with whatever I was doing at the time. I think I see more clearly now that my Mom’s love language is Acts of Service and I was too focused in the moment to moment activities (that I knew I could do on my own) to properly recognize this and respond appropriately. Too often I responded with a “Mom” comment with a tone that was meant to communicate,”I got this.” But upon reflection, I think I could have done better. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt my mom’s feelings, so Mom, if you’re reading this, I LOVE YOU ALWAYS! <3  And I’m so thankful for you and all you do! You’re an angel xoxo!

But feelings are easy to hurt. And hurt can be hard to recover from. I think a lot of happiness involves being able to bounce back from situations and then reflect on ways to enhance the experience next time.

I have this pocket Rumi book that I keep I my bag, and lately when I open it, I seem to flip to the same page. Incredibly (and not surprisingly), this page contains one of my favorite Rumi poems:

If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?

I feel that, especially in these times, we become so easily offended. If someone says something we don’t agree with, we have to “help them understand” our perspective; if someone does something we don’t like, we feel hurt; and  if anything takes a second longer than we expect, we become annoyed. We lack patience for those who do not respond in the way we want. And we internalize this irritation and harm ourselves more than anyone else.

As I write this on New Years Eve in California, I am creating an intention to go into 2017 with the conscious decision to increase my patience, dial back irritation when things don’t go my way, and work on letting things go even more quickly than before.

We must remember that everyone is going through life facing challenges that we know nothing about. As we listen with compassion and reply lovingly, we may be creating a healing experience that we will never know about.

So, I hope that you too will consider this and take advantage of any opportunity you have to share a little love in words and/or deeds and release others from your expectations as much as possible. To be free, we must allow others to be free. We only get what we give away <3

Love and wishes for a beautiful 2017! May you polish your own mirror with love and gratitude for all that is. Look for the rainbow that is hiding in plain sight ;) Sometimes we can see it when we look back and wonder how we missed it. As we live in love, we see the light and love and are open and able to appreciate it in those moments. Love and light surround us.




Photo source: Mirror Rainbows

December 26, 2016


In  2012, I took some time away from work. I’d worked continuously in engineering and business roles since 2001 and had never taken a break to consider what I really wanted to be doing. I considered my next steps based on the trajectory of my previous steps. But I felt myself being pulled into a new direction….one that might help people more directly. I visualized writing a book, but I didn’t know what it would be about. So then I started several (potential) books, but stopped after looking at what I’d written the next day and deciding that wasn’t it. I’d gotten myself into projects where I was able to help others, but I wasn’t clear about what I needed to be doing.

During the time off, which ended up being a nine month break, I’d taken a batch of pictures that all ended up blurry. My dear friend Karen told me, “this is symbolic…maybe you need to focus.” She was so right. I was scattered, and in many ways, I was running from the call of the new…even though I didn’t realize it at the time. But I started this blog in February of 2013 to align myself with my writer/book vision. I felt I needed more time to figure out what I needed to be doing, but LA is an expensive city to live in without a plan. So just as I started wavering on my decision to walk away from corporate, new corporate opportunities started coming up.  I could build my vision while having income and a proper safety net, right? I rationalized and started considering interviewing again.

Here’s the thing…before I left corporate the previous year, I sent out emails to contacts letting them know of my departure from the company and expressing interesting in a Global Business Development role. Indeed, I’d told friends that global biz dev was the only job I’d go back to corporate for since it would allow me to travel.

I believe the Universe gives us what we ask for…so it shouldn’t come as a big surprise that just as I was doubting the direction of my new path that February, I started getting calls about Global Business Development roles….without submitting any applications! I had contacts calling me all of a sudden…and recruiters messaging me via LinkedIn. By March, I had two viable employment options. In April, I had offers. By May, I was in Corporate. By June, I was wondering what I’d gotten myself into again. By December, I was ready to quit. haha!

But I’m not the quitting type. In Chinese zodiac, I’m the year of the Dog, so I think I was born with an extra dose of loyalty haha! But really, I naturally look for the positives and the opportunities in every situation…even those I should probably just walk away from. So I stayed with that company for 2.5 years. I endured a lot of bureaucracy, mismanagement, disorganization, disfunction, and insane hours and travel schedule. For you see, I was leading a global team, so 5am or 11pm calls were not unusual. And traveling 2-3 weeks out of the month sometimes wasn’t unusual. I worked from home and had time when others didn’t have time, so I thought I was living a balanced life. But I wasn’t.

Just before my move to Cape Verde, I found the notebook where I wrote the questions that eventually became the book, Meditative Questions… In the pages before the questions, written around February 2015, I’d found pages of notes to myself trying to figure out how to unravel myself from the life that I was living. I remember vividly looking out of the window in a hotel room outside of Shanghai, China at a brown, hazy, and polluted sky and fantasizing about quitting my job.  (True story.)

When I think back on those times, I now realize that there were lessons in that experience that God wanted me to learn more clearly. I feel like I re-lived a lot of life lessons in my professional and personal life over the last few years because I didn’t get the point strongly enough the first few times.

So now as I sit here typing this message, a little over a year after leaving that job in October 2015, publishing Meditative Questions, cutting off all of my hair, moving abroad to a new country with a different language, and redefining my life…I feel that I am again at a crossroads about the next step.

Interestingly, while I was in LA this month, vision was a big theme. In the present sense, I needed more contact lenses. What should have been a very simple process turned into a complicated situation of managing insurance, eye doctors, and appointments. I reached a point of stress about the situation that required me to stop and walk away from it for the day. Nothing was working, and I realized the more I forced, the more I was causing frustration to myself. I am not kidding when I tell you that I received a call the next day from the store where I was ordering the contacts to tell me that everything was now being processed and that I could come pick them up in 3 days. Without doing anything, the situation resolved itself. If I’d continued to try to change the situation by force, I am sure it would have broken down completely.

(I’ll just add that when I went to pick up the contacts, there was one person working and the process was painfully slow. I had to wait almost 45 minutes just to pay for the contacts! But as I stood in line, I laughed to myself as I realized there was another lesson…receiving vision requires patience.)

As that applies to the future sense, I know that I am in the midst of determining the next right step for myself and how I will be guided to share gifts that I have been given. So I see it as no coincidence that I was back in LA and called to visit Agape Spiritual Center just as Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith was inspired to share principles from his Life Visioning book about doing things to make your future self happy. I have since purchased his book (and had incredible and almost comedic levels of difficulty getting a copy delivered to a friend by Amazon…which almost feels like a lesson in and of itself, perhaps that you can’t deliver a life vision to another person? haha).

In many ways, the situation I find myself in now feels familiar to where I was in February 2013. But now I know that I must embrace this feeling of uncertainty more deeply. I have to challenge myself to be open to visions for myself that may feel grandiose. I see myself on a stage…and I see myself helping people. And I get a little nervous just typing that. But I once heard that if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough ;)

The thing is, I felt that same vision pulling in 2013, but I shied away from it. I went back to what was familiar. I don’t think the decision was wrong…but I feel called to make a different decision this time. I have no idea how this new path will end up, but I know I have to try. I know that I have to open myself up to visions for myself that aren’t totally comfortable.

And the same is true for you. I believe that every one of us has a voice inside telling us what gifts we are supposed to be sharing. I think growth is found as we experiment with different ways to share that gift (ironically, I was on stages and helping people in my corporate life…but I felt very limited). We are able to actualize the vision for ourselves when we are honest with ourselves about what we really want and move boldly in that direction. When we are out of touch with what we really want…or when we lose faith in our vision…we waver. In those moments, we may be tempted to aim for the safety net that we see. But the reality is that the leap into the unknown gives us wings. But this only happens when we really believe in ourselves. 

There is a simple test…as long as you are asking other people what you should be doing, you’re not owning your vision. When I was sure that I was moving to Cape Verde, no one could have talked me out of it. I was sure. And even though I was overwhelmed, I was confident. As a result, I have experienced incredible freedom and the knowledge that we can really do anything that we set our minds to do. More than anything else, we stop ourselves.

2016 is the year of the monkey…an often chaotic time that raises many things to the surface. It was a year that many things were exposed…including our own personal doubts, fears, and insecurities. But what an opportunity to get light shined on all of these areas! As we understand these areas, we can actively do something about it. The time is now. The hero is you.

So as we (collectively) step closer towards 2017, let us be open enough to receive a grand vision of our lives; confident enough to accept the mission; and bold enough to take the leap! I wish you love, peace, beauty, and magic in the new year. It’s going to be wonderful!



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Photo source: Turn to clear vision

December 14, 2016


In the midst of transition, my engineering side comes out. I tend to focus on process and practicality…and I sometimes unknowningly limit my own perception about what’s possible. (Love and abundance is everywhere, except where it is being suppressed by limited perception.)

When I attended Agape Spiritual Center last weekend here in LA, I was reminded of some very powerful things…

During the silent meditation, God whispered, “I am with you”, and I was flooded with peace.

Sometimes we feel that we are alone. We isolate ourselves and put lots of pressure on ourselves to find the answer. During the service, Michael Bernard Beckwith reminded of us, “The presence of God is never in absence.” He reminded us that the mind is taught to see the world in a certain way…through the lens of negativity, and lack. But if we live in TRUTH, we see love, possibility, and vision. Quantum physics allows us to see and experience different frequencies at the same time.

Don’t let anxiety run the show!

How appropriate that this was mentioned just after I wrote a post on anxiety! The lesson becomes a blessing. When we embrace the LOVE of the universe, fear is transformed by excitement and becomes something else. We understand that our identity is not what happened to us and we are able to connect with our Higher Self…the Self that never had a birth and will never die. Then the eternal begins to live its life as you, through you.

You are here to bring eternity into time

You chose to be here! To bring eternity into time. And you got to chose the gifts you wanted to give and the lessons you wanted to learn. Remember that you came down to reveal the presence of God. Learn your lessons gracefully and share.

When you feel and realize your oneness with presence, you will be able to watch your circumstances change. See the possibility in your own soul and live vibrationally with what wants to come through you.

You are not learning, you are recalling what the spirit knows. All of our needs are met. Gratitude becomes right seeing, which becomes oneness. Love is running the show.

The fear is a LIE. If you trace your fear back, you will find a lie (separation, scarcity, etc.) Observe your fear and it becomes to dissolve. You will learn your lessons, but they will be easier (graceful and not difficult). 

Choice is a function of expanded awareness. Choosing from an expanded place is different from a decision made as a reaction to circumstances. We make decisions to cut away what is not necessary.

Finally, Michael probably spoke to all of us when he said that he can see us making decisions based on what’s happened. This is fear based and he encouraged us to turn to love.

I felt so many emotions hearing these lessons, but joy characterizes it best. Living in a space of abundance and plentitude is beautiful. Expansive awareness leads to creativity and vision. Faith and love allow us to boldly move forward to live in light. I am so thankful for all of the messages delivered to me that day…including a beautiful soul connection made with lovely Lynnfinity who kept asking aloud where the daily meditation books where in the Agape bookstore haha With some hesitation, I told her I’d written a book of meditative questions and that launched a beautiful discussion which also uncovered that my birthday was her mother’s birthday and a very special day to her for so many reasons. There is no such thing as coincidence and I remain grateful and joyful that we connected.

Love surrounds us. Feel that infinity light and love and you cannot help but feel joy.

Namaste <3


Photo source: Infinity Light Room at the Broad Museum, LA (in honor of Lynnfinite Light <3)
December 10, 2016


As I started writing this post, I had the feeling of what anxiety means, but the words were alluding me. It is 5am in California, afterall ;) So I decided to do a quick search. I like Wikipedia’s version so much, I’m going to include an extended definition. It is long but worth the read:

Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination. It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events, such as the feeling of imminent death. Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is a response to a real or perceived immediate threat, whereas anxiety is the expectation of future threat. Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing. It is often accompanied by muscular tension, restlessness, fatigue and problems in concentration. 

Fear is defined as short lived, present focused, geared towards a specific threat, and facilitating escape from threat; anxiety, on the other hand, is defined as long acting, future focused, broadly focused towards a diffuse threat, and promoting excessive caution while approaching a potential threat and interferes with constructive coping.

Basically, anxiety is focusing too much on the things you don’t want to happen in the future.

As I make this extended visit back to America from Cape Verde, I cannot stop myself from making comparisons to the lifestyle differences between the two places. I think living abroad makes these comparisons quite natural.

Even though I am privileged to have wonderful friends and family to look after me, and the means to visit various cities with great independence, soon after I arrived in LA, I felt a sense of anxiety.

If I’m honest with myself, it was a feeling of, “I don’t have enough to be here.” Pausing for a moment there, I think of the irony of this as I am directly across the street from my former home where I had a car, a truck, a motorcycle, and two bicycles. Not even considering all of the other (unneeded) stuff I had in my home, I had far more transportation options than I would ever need. But I rationalized everything with a “just in case” mentality. For example: Just in case the car was being repaired, I had the truck and so on.

In LA, I would characterize the anxiety I feel to not having enough security. But I do not take full credit for this feeling. I know that the empathic side of me feels it in the air here. Especially during the first few nights here, I had to talk myself down and realize that I was taking on energies beyond myself. Before going to sleep, I whispered “I have enough.” I repeated this until I calmed down. I wasn’t in panic mode, but my agitation was palpable. I felt that my heart rate was up a notch.

When I think of Cape Verde, I think of freedom and nature. I am fortunate to not have anxiety there characterized by feeling a lack of security. But I would say that after a few weeks of rest, I have a feeling of restlessness. Hiking, biking, reading, resting, and binge watching Netflix are all perfectly wonderful things to do, but the lack of socialization opportunities and the kind of diverse activities and cultural things (music, food, people) we have in America, I am ready to break free after a few weeks! Indeed, since I’ve lived there, I have taken a monthly trip somewhere. Maybe I have some underlying anxiety that I will be stuck there.

But feeling stuck somewhere with means is much different than wanting to stay somewhere but feeling that you won’t have enough means to do it. (I will take the former over the latter any day!) In LA, and maybe most of America, the pressure to achieve is a matter of survival. Having basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, transportation) met is so much more expensive than a place like Cape Verde.  I will say that this is relative because Cape Verde can be expensive to Cape Verdeans with limited economic opportunities…BUT, shelter is possible in a shanti by the beach (weather permits this), food is possible due to ample fishing and potential for trading with farmers, and transportation is economical with shared ride minivans (and I’m sure barter is possible for transportation as well). Through my American eyes, life is simplified and feels more pure. But it would be reasonable to have anxiety in Cape Verde if one is in need of medical treatment not available on one’s island, or affording higher education (for example) coming from a place of limited economic means. In America, the costs are greater, but so too is the opportunity.

It all begs the question: What is enough? 

There is a quote by Epicurus…If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires. 

I think the answer lies in managing desires, increasing gratitude, and having deep faith and confidence in the limitless possibilities that exist. With this faith and confidence, we can march boldly in the direction of our dreams.

When we are locked in a pattern of limited thinking — trying to preserve what we have for fear of losing it — our vision becomes very small. We only see the immediate world around us. When I lived in a time when I couldn’t imagine selling my prized sports car, I couldn’t imagine the world of freedom that lied beyond that. So I fought to hold on to a job I didn’t want for a feeling of security that I never really had.

In Taoism, Lao tzu teaches that to be given everything, you must give up everything. When I gave up everything, I finally understood what this meant. I understood what it felt like. It felt like freedom. Without the weight of things holding you down, you can fly.

So I think the lesson here is to find peace even in the midst of anxiety. These feelings of anxiety come and go, but try not to stay attached to them. There is nothing wrong with planning as long as you don’t neglect living.

I am not sure where my next transition will take me, but I know that it will involve some combination of doing and not-doing. As such, I can see living a split life with some time in Cape Verde and some time in a city. My nomadic nature demands it. But as I work through this, I will continue to ask myself, “Do you really need that?!”;  remind myself that I am blessed beyond measure and that I do have enough; and I will challenge myself to find new ways to give. We only truly get what we give away.

I wish you peace in the midst of struggle; hope in the face of desperation; and light to brighten your path and make your way clear. It’s going to be okay  ;)



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Photo source: Banksy

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