DEAR SAGE: Ok so at the beginning of the school year, I developed a crush on the boy in my class. So I told my best friend. She had also developed a crush on the same guy! But she never told me until a couple weeks ago! So a couple weeks ago, I heard that the boy that I had a crush on was gonna ask my best friend out!!!!! And guess what she said…. YES!!!!!!
So after she said yes, I got really mad at her because she knew that I had a huge crush on him!!! I really don’t trust her as a friend anymore! But she has done so many more things that really hurt my feelings! it’s not just this incident!!! I don’t know what to do… I REALLY LIKED HIM!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :*
DEAREST LOVE: O.M.G! This is a tricky situation! Let me ask you a question…what would have happened if your crush asked you out and you said yes? What would that have been like for your friend? It is dangerous business to base a friendship on which one of you the guy picks! Someone is going to lose in that situation. True friendships are based on how you treat each other…it should not be about people outside of your friendship. Crushes come and go, best friends are true friends that are there for you through all of that!
So that is why the second part of your post concerns me! You say that “she has done so many more things that really hurt [your] feelings”? A friend should make you happier, not hurt your feelings! My advice is that you talk to your friend in private [face-to-face] and let her know how she has hurt your feelings. Sometimes people don’t know that they are hurting you…so it is fair to give them an opportunity to understand how they are making you feel and make changes. Pay attention to how she responds to you and decide if you can work through things. If not, you may want to consider giving that friendship a time-out. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever, so you must have to courage to let them go just as easily as you let them in. That’s just how life is! Appreciate all of the good times and lessons learned and keep smiling! I have this feeling that you are able to make friends really easily :)
YOU ARE WONDERFUL! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVING FRIENDSHIPS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE! Don’t settle for anything less, my dear!
Love and light,
