October 4, 2015

THE JOURNEY TO MY FIRST BOOK

When I started this blog in February 2013, I felt called to write a book but I didn’t know where to start. I did not want to be a writer who did not write, so I used the blog as a way of becoming comfortable getting my writing out into the world. With my background in engineering and business, this was a whole new world for me.

I wanted to share Zen and Taoist influences that have helped me find peace with the hope that these insights might inspire others. What I found is that the writing helped me to crystalize my beliefs. My writing became an exploration into my own heart and mind. And I’ve had so many moments of magic after writing a post that have made my heart smile. I was discovering my self. It continues to be a beautiful journey.

Now I must tell you that I started and stopped many books along the way! I would feverishly write pages one day and look it the next and say to myself no way. Haha This typically happened if the writing felt preachy or prescriptive. Though I am sometimes very direct on this website, that was not what I imagined for the book. I wanted it to be an experience that the reader would dictate.

I stayed patient with myself because I knew the book would come to me when it was ready. I will say that I had a feeling before my trip to Asia in March that the time was nearing. I remember telling my lovely mother that I’d be writing a book during that trip. She so kindly (as always) suggested that I not put any pressure on myself and enjoy the trip. Haha Definitely great advice.

However, when I was standing under the cherry blossom tree in Tokyo, something clicked. I realized that discovery is always about the questions.

From that point on, I channeled questions for the rest of my trip. After a full day of meetings, I would take meditative reflection time and find myself writing questions. I could not stop what was happening. And I didn’t try to.

At the end of my trip, I took a personal weekend in Bali to decompress. Because of the Nyepi holiday, I was forced to spend a day inside. It was a glorious day and I spent every moment finding the perfect font and typing up what would later become my first draft.

My vision of the book was clear but not complete. I knew I wanted color and energy, but I had to admit that I needed design help. Divine guidance led me to my amazing designers (more about my Dream Team here). They patiently walked with me through the process of uncovering the complete vision. And they worked with me to make more adjustments that I ever thought I’d need. The end design was so beautiful that it still takes my breath away.

What’s also interesting about my journey is that I never considered trying to find a publisher. I had no interest in trying to gain acceptance for my book or opening the door to potential creative differences in the design and presentation of the book. So in early April, I started my own publishing company (ZENTAO BOOKS).

There were many decisions to make along the way about formatting and printing the book. I’d originally planned to have the book distributed just-in-time through print-on-demand. It was not until I was sitting with Dillon (designer) completing the work and figuring out how to upload to the print-on-demand profile that I realized they were unable to support the larger size I’d selected. I remember Dillon kindly saying that he’d re-format the book to a smaller size, but I was clear that the size we had was right. Thus began the search for a printer.

I was say that printing hardcover books in a self-published operation is probably the most expensive approach haha. I started the search in earnest around June, and I searched locally before I realized that I had to get the book printed abroad to get the quality I wanted at a price that would allow me to sell it at a reasonable price. To give you a frame of reference, one domestic printer actually told me it would cost $100/book to print the hardcover book with dust jacket and full color pages! Unreal.

Looking for a printer abroad is difficult. There are a million choices and no way to really know if they are legitimate. I sent out three requests for proposals from companies that seemed sort of legitimate. Honestly, the process was kind of random. Haha. Two printers were in China and one was in Hong Kong. Of the two printers in China, one didn’t respond and the other said my volumes were too low. Even when I said I’d consider larger volumes, the company wasn’t interested. Those two kind of eliminated themselves. The printer in Hong Kong responded with very detailed questions and an openness to explore various volumes. I honestly felt more comfortable with a Hong Kong printer because I’ve been there so many times and knew the business contracts would be more Westernized and familiar.

I soon came to feel that being led to Regal Printing in Hong Kong was another moment of Divine guidance. I corresponded with the wonderful owner, Maurice, over many weeks and he was always prompt in answering all of my questions. We talked several times on the phone and I always found him to be beyond polite and very gracious and helpful. I knew early on that I’d found my printer.

Please allow me to freely admit that one of the biggest leaps of faith in this journey was to send very large checks and wire transfers in the hopes that I’d receive my books from Hong Kong! haha I am so thankful that Maurice never let me down. He even helped me to achieve my vision of a ‘green’ book that was printed on FSC certified sustainable paper with soy ink! These features would have been completely unaffordable stateside. And I find that to be so unfortunate.

Nonetheless, I had so many wheels in motion at one point that managing my energy level was becoming impossible. I was somehow working a full time job with a lot of travel, and spending almost all of my personal time trying to make sure I had covered everything. Completing one step only meant it was time for the next.

Again, I was fortunate when it came time to select a Customs Broker to get the books here! S&H Customs Broker was literally the only company in the area that answered the phone when I called haha. They were automatically hired after they provided me with pricing that I felt was reasonable to get the books through customs and deliver them to my storage. (And then of course there was the process of finding storage! haha)

I could go on and on with the steps required to make this book a reality, but I wanted to give you a flavor of the journey. It is a miracle that I received the shipment of books almost six months (to the day!) after completing it in Bali!

I felt a sense of urgency about completing this book that I cannot explain. I never felt that I really had a choice about it. Getting the book out into the world was something I felt I had to do.

In addition to all of the lessons I learn about designing and publishing a book, I was recently reminded of an important Taoist teaching by my friend and healer Dr. Baolin Wu (also a Taoist monk). Dr. Wu reminded me that it is the way of the Tao that we often lose something when we gain something new.

The intense process of publishing this book in such a short time frame required a lot of focus. I had to strip away a lot of projects and competing interests to make space for this creation. And many other things fell away on their own. I was reminded over and over again that God’s timing is perfect. And I had to continue to remind myself to relax. 

Now that the books are here, there are many more steps I have to take. There are book signings (the first is October 17th!) and all sorts of other projects to make sure the book is discoverable.

I have so many people to thank for their support and encouragement throughout the process! From dropping off drafts to my designers when I had to travel to helping me unload books and placing early orders, friends continue to show up in beautiful ways. I am so thankful!

Meditative Questions is a book I am very proud of. I feel that the questions eliminate the fluff of explanation and allow the reader to explore their own beliefs through thought provoking inquiries. It is a different sort of book, and one that will change as you change. I am so delighted to present it to you and hope that you will consider heading over to zentaobooks.com to learn more. I’m also offering the option of autographing your book with a personalized note ;)

Thank you for your support! And I look forward to sharing more of the journey with you :)

<3

Namaste.

September 6, 2015

CALM DURING THE STORM

Before acting, one should rest in a state of equanimity,

indifferent to the results of the action,

so that the action happens naturally

without any sense of it being “your” action.

– Chuang-tzu

Equanimity is defined as mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. One could also call it coolheadedness.

What comes to mind for me is a leaf being blown about by the wind in a storm. If the leaf becomes happy when the wind blows in one direction, but agitated when blown in others, it will live its life in turmoil. I wonder, does the leaf really have a choice  about which way the wind blows it?  :)

I am very fortunate to have taken a week of rest in Costa Rica recently. I knew that I needed a timeout because I felt myself getting caught up in the results of my actions. I was feeling a sense of urgency about everything and I was feeling drained trying to manage the business related aspects of my life. Quite frankly, I needed to relax.

Costa Rica is a beautiful country with lovely people. I am fortunate to have an amazing sister-friend living there, and I’d been thinking about visiting her all year. Without too much thought a couple of weeks ago, it became clear to me that it was time for that visit. So I just booked it :)

Even as I arrived in Costa Rica, we flew through rain clouds. It rained almost every night of my trip. And I slept like a baby. The rain brought me calm. 

During the whole trip, I slept when I wanted to…and I got up to eat when I was hungry. Between those times, I either read mystery/thriller books or spoke with people that were around. On the last day, I felt the need for a little adventure and went zip lining and horseback riding through the mountains. (Plus G and I were able to work in a roadtrip/spa day midweek :) And that’s it. It seems funny now that I thought I was going to get all of this work done while I was there. God laughed at me through the rain haha

The rain also brought life to the land in Costa Rica. A friend there showed me a picture of some of the land only a few months ago and it was brown and without life. Apparently, as soon as rainy season begins, the land becomes green quite quickly. The land needs the rain. It is waiting for the storm. The storm brings new life.

Often in life, especially when things are not going our way, we become stiff and inflexible. Our way is the only correct way. But being stiff and inflexible brings death. To illustrate, let’s think back to the leaf. When the leaf is on the tree and full of life, it is flexible and difficult to break. Bending, or even stepping on it, won’t break it. The leaf has to be torn apart to be broken. However, when the leaf is dead, it is stiff and inflexible. If you crumple it in your hands, it breaks apart. If you step on it, it breaks. If you bend it, or even press on it, it breaks.

When storms rage in our lives, we have to decide how we are going to face them. Will we be calm, coolheaded, and flexible? Will we remain present and do what needs to be done in the present moment? (Now is now.)  Will we allow ourselves to fall in love with the storm and let it bring us rest? Will we allow the storm to bring us new life? 

Or will we allow the storm to make us agitated? Will we be thinking of how our lives were before the storm? Will spend our time in the storm wishing for dryness? Will we hate the rain and remain restless? Will we allow the storm to bring us death?

We can hit storms in all aspects of life — work, relationships, and even spirituality. We may feel as if we are hitting a wall. But dear one, please remember that walls are meant to be climbed ;)

Namaste.

Photo source: From my mobile phone, flying over Costa Rica.

August 24, 2015

SAINT NICK

Today my beloved Godfather transitioned to the spirit realm. And though I know his love will continue to surround me, the world lost a lot of character today.

My Godfather was a total class act. Warm and personable to absolutely everyone, he quite simply had a story for any situation. I can only smile as I think about his amazing memory and ability to recount details from long ago. I was fortunate to have seen him recently on Father’s Day, and even then he was telling me stories from his time in the Army in the 1940’s…and into the 1960’s when he got to know President and Lady Bird Johnson :) He lived a life of service and compassion — as a member of the armed forces, the postal service, and a long time usher at church — he always looked after others and he always did it with a smile.

Even now, I can see him smiling at me with a gleam in his eye and playfully shaking his fist in the air haha I am so thankful for the memories I have of him, which span throughout my lifetime. He lived 93 full years and will be greatly missed by many. The world was incredibly lucky to have him.

I was especially blessed to have him as my Godfather. He always encouraged me to “keep doing what you’re doing” and trust in God. And I will miss him. So much love to you, Godfather. You are my Saint Nick ;)

 

<3

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Photo: With my beautiful Godparents, Father’s Day 2015

August 18, 2015

WHEN IS NOW?

After several weeks of travel, I slept for the entire weekend to recover. Exciting, right? :) As I found some secret store of energy this morning, I woke up early and went for a long bike ride. Listening to meditative tunes, I started getting back to Zen ;)

A quote from Rumi kept repeating itself in my mind, “Be like melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself.”

This is such a lovely notion. It renews. So often we get stuck in our concerns and worries. If we are not careful, these build and we are left carrying a heavy weight.

Each moment is a new beginning. But the present moment is fleeting. When is now? As soon as try to capture it, it is already gone.

If we are able to move past our stories about ourselves…and who we think we are…we get closer to the truth.  We drop the heavy weight. We become Light. If we strip away our past, our possessions, and our attachments, who are we?

:)

 

 

Photo source: My mobile phone. Taken just now ;)

 

 

July 25, 2015

EVERYTHING ZEN

Recently, I went to race stock cars. Before the race, my instructor advised that I “Zen out and become one with the car.” Of course that struck a cord with me ;)

The same is true when I tried archery some time ago…my instructor said to “become one with the bow and release the arrow as you release your breath.” Very Zen.

Zen is all about being mindfully in the moment. There is no past. There is no future. Only now.

Zen also embraces oneness. When we live in oneness, we understand that everything is connected. Separation is an illusion.

Applying Zen principles to life becomes easy. Live in the now. Release love and kindness as you release your breath. Love your neighbor as yourself…because your neighbor is yourself ;)

Namaste.

 

Photo source: Pitstop #4 by Fabio Davini

Love this photo as everyone is in the moment :)

July 15, 2015

ONE MORE THING

When traveling, I often feel some anxiety before the flight. There’s packing, being on time for the car service, arriving at the airport with enough time to check in and go through security to be on time for the flight (and early enough to get bin space!). So many things must be done to make this happen within the required time. I find that I often take a deep breath (of relief) when I’m in my seat. I’ve made it on the flight, turned off my phone, and there’s nothing that can be done about anything for a while. I’m literally and figuratively locked in.

The creative process of getting my book print-ready has been much like this. I started with text and a vision of the experience one would have with the book. Unlike a traditional cover-to-cover read, I felt the book should be colorful, accessible, interesting, thought-provoking, and cool. I wanted the experience of reading the book to feel effortless. And I wanted it to be inspiring and beautiful. Easy, right? :) The reality is that the process became a series of things to complete (within a reasonable amount of time) to make this possible.

Though I had the text completed, I was clear that I needed help with making this full-color vision a reality. I have been absolutely blessed to work with the most amazing and talented group of graphic designers who have brought my vision to life. And I am so thankful that they patiently put up with me throughout the process haha Because I lacked the technical skill to make changes to the InDesign file, I had to depend on my designers to make even the smallest adjustments. As a result, I felt as though I always had one more thing for them to change. Somewhere along the way, a missing space in a sentence felt like the end of the world. I struggled with the process of asking for changes. I did not want to drive them crazy in my quest for perfection. Yet, I wanted to achieve my vision for the book. I think both outcomes were probably achieved haha

This experience made me consider what a child must struggle with as it is learning to communicate. Lacking the ability to take care of itself, the baby has only the ability to cry as a signal for help. A parent must then go through a process of elimination to determine why the baby is crying. There are a series of things they try to get it right.

My vision for the book was broad. But as I moved forward, I had to try many different versions for each part of the book to try to get it right. I had to get a lot more specific about everything. We cycled through about ten variations of the cover and countless formatting changes within the book to get sizes and fonts to feel right. The designers made some genius additions I hadn’t considered that gave the book new life. I learned so many things along the way, and we had to adjust the design to include these new elements…like having odd page numbers on the right side (something I never really noticed about books before!) and creating a Copyright page from scratch. My printing strategy changed, and that required more adjustments with trim and spacing to change from a digital printer to a traditional press. There were decisions about paper color, paper weight, cover, binding, and dust jacket that had to be made. And more work to create a dust jacket when I decided the book should have one.

The book took on a life of its own. There was always something else to consider. Yet, I also did not want to get trapped in the design phase forever.  We were in quicksand, and I knew that I had to make clear decisions to get us out. There had to be an end point and an acceptable level of perfection, otherwise the project would never end.

Yesterday, I think we made it out of the quicksand. We submitted the final design files to the printer (with one emergency change haha), and now I feel like I’m on the airplane…taking a deep breath after fastening my seat belt. I’m filled with gratitude for my designers for sticking with me through the process and staying committed to creating a quality product that will hopefully help to inspire others.

The creative process is a whirlwind. It can be frustrating and it can create a lot of anxiety if you let it. While I freely admit to moments of panic, I’m thankful for the sugar and deep breaths that made me calm down haha And I know that I could not have made it without patient designers who continued to fix one more thing  with great kindness :)

We’re one (HUGE!) step closer to getting the book done. And I’m so excited to get the proofs and samples from the printer in Hong Kong this week! After confirming the materials and binding, the printing will happen and we will be fully locked in to the final product. I am certain that I will be writing a future post to praise the wonderful printers who have already been so patient, responsive, and kind throughout this process! I am so fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful people who are committed to helping me achieve this vision. That is the greatest gift. And I will be forever thankful.

This post is dedicated to Stacy, Michelle, and Dillon. My heart bursts with gratitude for all of your wonderful work, dedication, and patience on my project! I am not sure how you all continued to churn through my endless bullet-point lists hahaha, but I will never forget your kindness and follow-through on each point. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! :)

 

Photo source: Unsaturated Grain by Lloyd Walker

 

 

July 1, 2015

STAY PRESENT

Sometimes I catch myself getting future focused. Writing, editing, and publishing a book means I have a to-do list that never seems to end. I’m driven to create and share. And it requires that I think ahead a lot.

However, a friend reminded me to “stay present ;)” in a note recently and it really resonated with me. It was a reminder to bring it back into the present moment and truly appreciate the beauty of the moments I am experiencing now. 

I was inspired to take a breath and dial it down. I was reminded that life is now. 

While it can be easy to think back on things that have happened, or focus on outcomes you are working toward in the future, the beauty of life is happening right now.

May you also be inspired to take a breath and live in gratitude for the multitude of blessings you are receiving in this moment. In this space of gratitude, may we also be inspired to share that love. <3

Namaste.

 

Photo source: Even The Mountains Reflect on Itself by Priyank Desai

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