August 7, 2014

TRUE VIRTUE

If the whole world praises him, he is not elated.

If the whole world condemns him, he is not beaten.

In a word, praise and blame cannot change his conduct.

Such a man possesses true virtue.

As for myself, I am still among those who are influenced

by the opinions of others, like the wind moves the waves.

– Chang-tzu

Photo source: 03-29-14 Walk 7 (Brooklyn) by Dmitriy Rozentul

August 6, 2014

A BEAUTIFUL ILLUSION

The master had preached for many years that life was but an illusion. Then, when his son died, he wept. His students came to him and said, “Master, how can you weep so when you have told us so many times that all things in this life are an illusion?”

“Yes,” said the master, wiping away his tears while they continued to course down his ancient cheeks, “but he was such a beautiful illusion!”

-Chang-tzu

 

Photo source: The Passage of Light by Kazuhito “Kai” Hirai

July 31, 2014

NO WAY OUT

Sometimes I stumble on wisdom. Recently, I was talking to a friend about how she stayed far too long in an unhealthy relationship. She said, “I tried so hard to prove myself to him…” I shook my head and said, “I don’t think that’s it. It’s not that you were trying to prove yourself to him, you were trying to prove yourself to yourself.” 

You were not trying to prove yourself to him [her/them], you were trying to prove yourself to yourself.

We both paused after that in a “wow” moment that it wasn’t really about him, it was always about you. I stumbled onto that wisdom.

Recently, there seems to be an uptick in discussions about domestic violence (especially around a recent controversial national football league ruling, related to a player involved in a domestic violence situation). There has been a lot of victim blaming (e.g. ‘she must have provoked it’… ‘why did she stay with him after?’) and I want to say this is not that. In all cases, I believe violent acts to be wrong, with those committing acts of violence to be in the wrong. Love is not hitting or kicking or any other violent act. Victims need help, not blame.

So why does she stay?

I’m using “she” here, but domestic violence is not gender specific.Statistics just indicate that women are most often on the receiving end of violence. I am not an expert on domestic violence. And I have never been in such a situation. However, I have volunteered at domestic violence shelters (please consider supporting organizations like 1736 Family Crisis Center!) and seen the effects of this type of violence first hand. I am thankful for the work that the best shelters do to provide counseling and support to the women and children who have been through this unfortunate ordeal. As a volunteer tutor for the children, I was heartbroken many times to arrive at the shelter only to find out that the mother left the shelter with the children. I asked where they went and was told, “We don’t know. Unfortunately it usually means she has gone back to the abuser.” Heartbreaking.

When it comes to any kind of abuse…physical or emotional…I don’t know why women [or men] stay. The case is different for everyone. But I have a few theories:

  1. It feels normal. In many cases, abuse victims grew up in homes with abusive behavior. It’s what “home” felt like. The association can carry into adulthood and the continuation of abusive relationships. Breaking the cycle is difficult, but necessary for self-preservation (and the safety and future of the children involved!).
  2. Self-love is missing. If a person feels like the deserve the abuse…or that they can withstand the abuse…they may have lost touch with their self-worth and value. It’s not that you were trying to prove yourself to him, you were trying to prove yourself to yourself. When we forget that we are a child of the Creator, we settle. We try to prove. Self-love is getting back in touch with Divine love and knowing that love is our birthright.  While writing this, I was reminded of an Aretha Franklin song I loved, A Rose Is Still A Rose! “Without him your life goes….without him your life goes on. Cuz a rose is still a rose. Babygirl you’re still a flower. He can’t you leave you and then take you. Make you and then break you. Babygirl you hold the power.” Taking back the power is self-love.
  3. He/she will change. I believe this to be one of the toughest cases. When you want to believe the best in someone, you can overlook the negative situations. Or temporarily forget about them. The reality is people don’t really change. Yes there are some extreme cases of transformation and anything is possible…but really,  you have to accept people as they are or not at all. Soon after a comment like this, people want to say, “But no one is perfect, Sage!” Yes, yes…I know, I know. But we’re talking about abuse here. That’s different than liking different TV shows! The real question is, “Do you like the person you are when you’re around this person? ” Do you like the person you are becoming as a result of being around this person? Because really, another person’s energy can change you!  Are you happy and upbeat or cynical and depressed? Do you feel like a Rock Star or is your star quality feeling dull? Yes, other factors influence your feelings about yourself, but you know when you’re around someone who replenishes you versus being around someone who drains you. It is never about that person changing, it is always about you.
  4. Scared to leave. This one scares me. The thought that someone could be scared to leave another is horrible. When discussing, with a friend, a situation of a woman who felt she had no way out, my friend said, “What happened was that he scared her, and she believed it.”  A woman may even be fearful of how to get an abusive man out of her house. Fear in any form is a terrible thing. THANKFULLY, there are Hotlines and HELP for those in fearful situations. The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is 1-800-799-7233. It is FREE. Please share and use without hesitation. Even if you’re not sure you need it. That’s why it exists.

 

Awareness is at the core of everything. When you are not seeing with perfect awareness, you can forget that love is your birthright.When you are aware of a situation someone else may be going through, it can be easy to not want to get involved. But getting involved by calling simply 911 may save someone’s life. Also consider calling the Hotline (1-800-799-7233) before getting personally involved (beyond calling 911), especially if someone close to you is in a violent situation.

I was inspired to write this because I felt that someone might need to read it. If that someone is you, I hope and pray that you are in turn inspired to act proactively and positively to get out of all unhealthy situations.

There is always a way out.

Photo source: Sunflower by SYARAKU

July 27, 2014

PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS

This morning, the message on my Yogi tea label was, “To be calm is the highest achievement of the self.” The more I live, the more I find this to be true. When we are calm,  we can see more clearly. With a simple breath, we can stop the waves of emotion that can threaten to take us over and make us erupt like a volcano. But we can only stay calm in the realization that there is a Power greater than us at work. And we can smile in the knowledge that this Power is operating for our highest good…whether we understand that at the moment or not. When we are calm, we can solve any problem.

I am supremely fortunate in this life to have wonderful and dear friends with whom I’ve really shared life with over the years. When a person really trusts you, opens their heart, and really values your insights, that is a rare gift indeed. It is the greatest honor to be in a situation to help another. I typically give the disclaimer that I could be right or wrong (but truly, right and wrong always depends on the viewer) in my suggested approach, but I’m happy to share my thoughts. In the end, I can only hope that any sharing I do might help others find their center.

I had such a full conversation with a dear friend yesterday, that it will be challenging to turn it into a post. But I really want to…and I thank her so much for allowing me to share some of the essence of our discussions…so I’m going to give it a go ;)

Without a real place to start, I’ll begin by saying she is (thankfully!) a supporter of this site. She said to me, “I know you said, ‘Just do it’…but how do I do that?!”

I think we’ve all been in that place where we feel so overwhelmed that we don’t even know where to start. The emotional and psychological weight of all we need to do can wear on us and, indeed, paralyze us. We see no clear path for progress and we just don’t want to do anything! And then some Selena Sage character comes around and tells us to Just Do It!…but that just doesn’t cut it..haha! We want to know the prescription…the steps…the how! Specifically, How do I get out of this mess?! I totally get that. And I respect it. Every situation is different, and there never is one size that fits all. But let’s give it a try! :)

Since my dear friend reads the site and know how our story goes, I don’t want to bore her by telling a similar tale. Instead, if you’ll allow me, I’m going to put on my Engineering cap. To me, being an Industrial Engineer is just a fancy way of saying, “Problem Solver.” So, like I did countless times in Engineering school, let’s visit the Widget Factory! haha

Sage Sprokets

Sage Sprokets has so many problems! The company is losing money, making the sprokets is taking too long, employees are unhappy, and customers are writing angry letters about broken sprokets. Sage is overwhelmed. She looks out on the sproket factory and it’s a mess…parts are everywhere and she sees a forklift driver almost run over a maintenance man! Oh my goodness, how did it all go so wrong?! Sage goes back to her desk and plops her head down onto a stack of papers on her desk. She thinks, “This is the end. It’s over, I’m going out of business.” Sage decides that while her head is down, she might as well take a nap. (It’s ok to laugh at this story, I’m laughing as I write it haha!)

But then Sage hears two firm knocks on her door. Startled, she approaches slowly. Could it be another employee stopping by to quit?? As she opens the door, in walks a well-dressed and professional woman…complete with pants suit, high heeled pumps, stylish specs, and a clipboard. Before Sage has a chance to say anything, the woman hands over a card and says, “Hi, I’m Selena. My mother, Loretta, knows your mother and she asked me to come over to help. I’m a Consultant and I rescue ailing businesses. I’m here to change your life. Let’s get started. Tell me what is going on.”

Sage’s jaw drops…she’s agitated and upset. How dare this woman storm into her office and talk to her in this way?! Who does this Selena person think she is?! I don’t need help! I can fix this myself! Just as Sage was about to tell the woman to get out and call security, she remembered the Security guard quit the day before. And then she looks out again on the factory floor and sees several sprokets bounce off the line. Sage takes a deep breath, sits down in her chair and says, “You’re right, I need help. I do not have the budget for a consultant, but if you have any ideas, I would appreciate them.” Selena smiles and says, “That’s what I’m here for.”

Sage tells her story while Selena takes her notes. When Sage begins to complain about the worker’s lack of loyalty and initiative, Selena stops her and says, “Sage, attitude reflects leadership. This is not about them, it’s about you. So now, let’s talk a walk on the floor and see what’s really going on.”

Selena trades in her pumps for steel-toed boots and they take a walk. Selena notices that there are no walkways for pedestrians, safety lights, or clearly marked work areas. The floor is not organized and sprokets and being moved all around the site to complete production. There does not seem to be a process in place…and then Selena notices a worker eating lunch near the assembly line! Selena stops the tour and says, “Sage, what is going on here?! Nothing makes sense.” Sage responds, “Well, the workers were so unhappy that I decided to give them more freedom to boost morale. They take breaks when they want and eat where they want.” Selena silently shakes her head and continues the tour, making more notes along the way.

After several hours of this, Selena requests a quiet office, lunch and tea to fuel her brainstorm. Sage complies and then notices that Selena turns off her cell phone and starts eating her lunch before the door closes. Sage feels some relief from talking about the problem and feels motivated to make some changes. But again, she doesn’t know where to start. Sage remembers that Selena kept saying, “Start small,” and wonders if maybe she should clean her desk. But then cleaning the desk would mean seeing angry letters and bills, so she takes a nap instead.

Sage is awakened again, this time by the factory bell, signaling shift change, ringing outside her office. She looks around, feeling disoriented, and then hears two firm knocks again at her door. Selena walks in with purpose and says, “Sage, the first thing you must understand is that you will have to save this company yourself.” Sage nods and says, “I understand.”

Selena continues, “Seriously Sage. There are a lot of issues here. And I’ve just spent one day in your factory! I don’t know the full extent of the problem, but I have a good idea. What I’ve put together here are high level opportunities and a place for you to get started. You must keep going if you want to save your company.” Sage sits up a little straighter, grabs a pen, and says, “Ok, I’m ready…I am going to do this and I appreciate your help with getting me started.”

Selena takes a deep breath and begins, “Ok, first, you have to be honest with your employees. You must meet with them all and let them know that unless things change, you will all lose your jobs. You have to let them know that you don’t want that to happen and you’ve come up with with initial changes. Let them know that you need their help to save the company. Then you will outline the areas that need changes, determine leaders for those teams, and describe the reward structure. You will set targets for each team, and whichever team exceeds the target the most will win a trip to Hawaii…each team member gets to bring a loved one.” Sage interrupts, “But we don’t have money for that!”

Continuing calmly, Selena says, “Ah yes, I’m glad you brought up money. To pay for incentives like a trip, you will need to make Sales a part of the target. The trip is a way of sharing the profits with the employees in a different way, while motivating them to perform beyond what they think is possible. But there is something you must do first….Before going home tonight, you must go through all of the paperwork on your desk! I’d hoped you would have done that while I planned, but the reality is that you must do it today! You will throw away the trash, prioritize the bills, and separate out the angry customer letters for your employees to read and address. You will work with your accountant to create a true financial picture and understand how much your company must bring in to afford the incentives I’ve described. Here is a framework of the teams you need to create:

Customer Service: Figure out what your customers want! Understand what is going wrong. If you lose your customers, you lose your business!

  • You and your team need to read all of the letters (plus anything you find on your website, blogs, etc.)
  • Call back all of the angry customers and understand the issues…Then make it right!
  • Adjust your business model and production issues to properly address the customers problems.

Process/Re-organization: In order to improve efficiency, you must create standardized processes and flow to achieve production goals (i.e. figure out how fast the process can go if everything is done perfectly)

  • Determine each step of the process, assign owners to each step
  • Establish a schedule (with breaks and work plans) that creates overlap to allow for the process to continue despite breaks
  • Layout the facility in the order of these steps with added safety features (see below)

Safety: You owe this to your employees. If you don’t get this right, you will go out of business because you will get sued. Fix this right away!

  • Create designated walkways for pedestrians with a separate path for forklifts and equipment (and restrict eating and breaks to the break room)
  • Add lighting and signaling in dangerous high traffic areas that are accident prone
  • Create and post rules for all employees concerning safety

Financial: Last, but not least, money enables your business to be a business. If you are too afraid to address this area, your business will crumble. You need to face it head on and develop a plan!

  • Work with an accountant if you must to determine all of your assets. Where do you have sources of money? Not only in your bank account, but what can you sell?
  • Then go through all of your bills (account for your liabilities) and prioritize! Which bills must be addressed first? Among equal bills, which are the smallest that you can pay for fully? Pay those in full first!
  • For bills that you can’t afford right now, get on the phone with those creditors! Help them understand your situation and what you are doing to save your business. Ask for help and try to work with them to achieve more favorable payment terms (or a payment plan) that will allow you to pay off those items as quickly as possible.

“Sage, this is the beginning. But if you really commit to these areas and keep following through on each area, you can truly save your business.You cannot hand over all of the work…you must get deeply involved and demonstrate leadership by working with your team! You must be committed to making the best sprokets on the market. Through prioritizing Customer Service, you can win back all of your customers and gain the reputation as a brand that really listens and provides products that meet the real needs. Then you will gain new customers and set your business on a growth trajectory. I will check in with you from time to time, but this is your company…now go lead!” Selena concluded with a smile and Sage ran around the desk, with a tear in her eye and a big smile on her face, to hug her. All of a sudden, everything felt possible! Before Selena left the building, Sage had already started going through her papers, motivated by the thought of increasing Sales enough to send Selena on a trip to Hawaii with the winning team! ;)

from sprockets back to life

I hope you enjoyed the journey through Sage Sprokets! What I described was completely made up, but loosely based on my reality as an Industrial Engineer. So what I’m saying is that you can actually apply those ideas to your business!  Hopefully you also drew some parallels to your life. In life, we can have obstacles that seem insurmountable. We do not see away around or over them. We may want to just throw in the towel. But the reality is that big problem is really just a lot of other smaller problems. Your job is to figure out the smaller problems so that you can knock them out one at a time. Here are some guided questions for you:

  • What is your biggest problem? (Write it down.)
  • What are the smaller pieces/underlying issue of that problem? (Write those down.)
  • What do you need to do to address each smaller problem? (Create an Action list!)
  • What are some ideas that you have on how to address those problems? (Brainstorm!)
  • Identify parts of the problem that you have no control over…write down, “Not my problem” next to each of those items. These are areas outside of your control!
  • Get started on the smallest parts of your problem.

Here’s a simple example.

  • Biggest problem: I have a transportation issue.
  • Underlying issue: I need an extra $100 this week to allow me to get where I need to go (using taxis, Uber, etc.)
  • Brainstorm:
    • Can I save $100 by not doing something else?
    • I can sell something in storage on Craigslist; or bags/shoes I don’t wear on eBay, etc.
    • Are there odd jobs I can do for extra cash? Can I dog walk, or mow lawns, or clean a house?
    • Contact a temp agency for something short term
  • Note to self: I have no control over people saying no! That is not my problem. I only require one yes and I will keep going until I find a way!

With all things, you can only do what you can! I personally believe that God/the Universe/the Creator assists those who step out there and begin! The journey of one thousand miles really does begin with the first step. And I sincerely hope that this crazy post will give you some insight into how you can Just Do It! ;)

It is possible to turn around any perceived problem. Just stay focused in the present (the past is a powerful distraction and depressant…and the future can seem so gloomy that it can paralyze you with anxiety) and do what you need to do now to get you where you need to go. If you listen to the voice inside that keeps telling you what you need to do, and you actually go do it…I promise you’ll get where you want to go ;)

Namaste :)

Photo source: bike 3 by chris mcclanahan

P.S. I just happened to read this article after finishing this post. How would you address service issues? Is there a way that you might set up a photo area or have someone else take the photos to speed service? :) People kept complaining this restaurant sucked…here’s what they found out

July 24, 2014

WHAT DO YOU VALUE?

Today, concepts of time, energy, prioritization, and excuses were on my mind. In the simplest terms, I believe that you tend to do what you prioritize and make excuses for everything else you don’t do. However, I also think that what you prioritize may not be in alignment with what you truly value. So I want to ask this question:

What do you value?

And follow it up with this one:

Where do you spend your energy?

The real question is are your values aligned with where you choose to use your energy?

Amazingly (and maybe not so surprisingly), as I was thinking of these concepts today, I was led to a Harvard Business Review article entitled Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time which explores these concepts from a professional prospective. Since we often spend the majority of our day working, I believe it is very relevant. I most appreciated the tips the article provided to better manage energy:

  • Establish a ritual for sleeping (e.g. in bed by 11pm, up by 7am as advised by my acupuncturist) and eating (e.g. eat breakfast followed by eating something healthy every three hours to maintain metabolism) to increase energy levels
  • Take renewal breaks (e.g. go for a 20 minute walk outside) when you feel your energy waning
  • Focus on one task at a time and eliminate distractions (e.g. check email only twice per day if possible instead of every time you hear a “ping.” This strategy has been very effective for me!)
  • Manage and focus your energyWhat is the one thing that you need to get done today?  Start with that.
  • Find your sweet spot: What do you love to do? Figure out ways to do more of that. Delegate things you don’t love to people who love doing those things.
  • Practice positivity: recognize and reward others as often as possible!
  • Eliminate the victim mentality (blaming others and external circumstances for your problems)…change your lens and cultivate more positive emotions!
    • Reverse lens:  Ask yourself: What would the other person in this conflict say and in what ways might that be true?
    • Long lens: Ask yourself: How will I most likely view this situation in six months?
    • Wide lens: Ask yourself: Regardless of the outcome of this issue, how can I grow and learn from it?

And most importantly,

  • What do you value? What do you want to be remembered for? What is most important to you? Is it being on every work call or being truly present and available for your family? 
    • Now be sure your actions reflect this value. Prioritize what’s most important and then act on it.

I also liked the following discussion in the article: “What are the qualities that you find most off-putting when you see them in others?  By describing what they can’t stand, people unintentionally divulge what they stand for. If you are very offended by stinginess, for example, generosity is probably one of your key values. If you are especially put off by rudeness in others, consideration is a high value for you.”

Life is a series of choices that reflect what we value. These decisions are also a signal to others about who/what we value.

As with all things, my hope is that you will choose wisely ;)

 

Photo source: The pursuit of happiness by Valdéz

July 18, 2014

AND IT MEANS PRAISE AND MEDITATION

“Nothing can be done against the truth…no matter how we remain in denial

Wasting time, replacing time with each empty excuse…but that will only work a little while…

I beg you desperately..cause me to agree to what I know is best for me…”

Love this track from Lauryn! Beautiful lyrics and composition. <3

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