A ballad singer studied under a strict teacher who insisted that he rehearse day after day, month after month the same passage from the same song, without being permitted to go any further. Finally, overwhelmed by frustration and despair, the young man ran off to find another profession. One night, stopping at an inn, he – Read More –
DEAR SAGE: I had a craving for unhealthy, fattening, non nutritious food today. I went to Whole Foods and bought a pint of ice cream, a small kosher pound cake (not that Kosher makes a big difference in calorie count) and a chocolate bar. When I got home, i nearly ate all of it…well, i – Read More –
DEAR SAGE: How do you get your wife to slowdown? My wife has been working 7-day weeks most weeks for a few months. I realize the need to stay on “top of her game,” especially during peak season can create unusual demands; however, I would like her to get more R & R beyond date night dinner, movies, etc. Any suggestions that don’t include exotic vacations?
DEAR ANXIOUS HUSBAND: Thank you for your note! It is lovely to have a husband reach out on behalf of his wife! The simple answer to your question, “How do you get your wife to slowdown,” is you can’t. Now, since I know is probably not the golden advice you were expecting, please allow me to elaborate:
Despite the all of the hours she is currently working, there is an underlying force driving her. She may be doing this to “stay on top of her game” as you say; she could be concerned about her job security; or she could be enjoying herself. Sometimes when a person is in the zone and is able to watch their efforts result in progress, there is a unique thrill that is attached. She may not have a clear understanding of what is causing her to work so hard, so probing is not the solution. Your support and positive feedback is what she really needs. You may share different expectations about what is best for her, so you have to relax your expectations. She must feel free to live her life in a way that feels good to her. If she shares what’s really driving her, you must be prepared to listen compassionately and just provide support. I know it can be difficult for a man to hear his wife speak without offering advice, but often women just want to be heard not advised. Let her know that you are confident she will make the right choice and allow her to work it out on her own. (If she asks for your advice, you then have a green light to proceed.)
Taoism is all about going with the flow of life and enjoying the journey. It is about contentment [loving things as they are] and freedom to be as you are. No changes required. Taoism is based on the concept of wei wu wei, which means action without action. Just as we breathe without actively trying or as – Read More –
Stated most simply, Qi Gong (CHEE-gong) is breath. It is the art and science of combining breathing, body posture, and a meditative mindset for healing. I am very fortunate to have Dr. Baolin Wu, a Taoist master and monk from the White Cloud Monastary in Beijing, as a teacher. Dr. Wu is a Qi Gong master and utilizes the practice of Qi Gong to replace the body’s Qi with healthy and vital Qi energy from nature.
The most fundamental Qi Gong practice is proper breathing. Without breathing, there is no life. Proper breathing will allow you to prolong your life and combined with Qi Gong practice, you will be able to heal yourself. I will share a lesson from Dr. Wu:
DEAR SAGE: My life has been speeding by and a lot of changes are occurring and I feel like I am losing control. I have recently made a few bad decisions in my love life and I don’t know if I should be honest about my mistakes or live with the guilt I face.
DEAR FLOWER: This is serious. I can feel your anxiety. I received your letter and literally stopped everything because I want to help you find peace. So before we get started, I want you to please pause everything and take a deep breathe with me [long inhale, hold it…then long exhale]. Slow everything down and allow yourself to relax in this moment. Keep breathing slowly and consciously with me while we work through this. Ok, let’s do it!
Sometimes life really does flying by when we lose connection with our purpose and goals. What are you really trying to do? Where are you really trying to go? What is it that you really want? Despite all of the things going on, take a step back and first reflect on these questions. You can either let change control you or control the changes. When we get lost, sometimes it can feel like we are swept up in a wave and tossed in different directions outside of our control. The reality is that when we don’t have a goal, the waves really do determine our direction. If we know where we want to go, we can start swimming in that direction. You are on the right path because you realize you don’t want to keep floating along. So right now, it’s time to swim to shore, my dear. Let’s get you grounded and address your key concern: your love life…
Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success or failure: which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment,
You will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
You will never be happy with yourself.
Illness Pain Stress Worry Fear Unhappiness Heartache… Are all signals that something is wrong with our THOUGHTS and resulting ACTIONS. Finding balance is the key to get back to our natural happy, healthy state. To achieve this balance, we must change our thoughts…and alter our actions. Photo source: yin yang