DEAR SAGE: My life has been speeding by and a lot of changes are occurring and I feel like I am losing control. I have recently made a few bad decisions in my love life and I don’t know if I should be honest about my mistakes or live with the guilt I face.

DEAR FLOWER: This is serious. I can feel your anxiety. I received your letter and literally stopped everything because I want to help you find peace. So before we get started, I want you to please pause everything and take a deep breathe with me [long inhale, hold it…then long exhale]. Slow everything down and allow yourself to relax in this moment. Keep breathing slowly and consciously with me while we work through this. Ok, let’s do it!

Sometimes life really does flying by when we lose connection with our purpose and goals. What are you really trying to do? Where are you really trying to go? What is it that you really want? Despite all of the things going on, take a step back and first reflect on these questions. You can either let change control you or control the changes. When we get lost, sometimes it can feel like we are swept up in a wave and tossed in different directions outside of our control. The reality is that when we don’t have a goal, the waves really do determine our direction. If we know where we want to go, we can start swimming in that direction. You are on the right path because you realize you don’t want to keep floating along. So right now, it’s time to swim to shore, my dear.  Let’s get you grounded and address your key concern: your love life…

I suspect the “mistakes” you have made in your love life are related to your lack of direction. I often say that the hardest thing in the world is to figure out what you want. Until you know this, you lack focus and you become like a leaf blowing in the wind. The leaf may stop to rest here or there, but it is a slave to the wind. When you do not have a clear understanding of what you want, you become a slave to your feelings…and feelings constantly change, just like the wind.  So before you begin your confessions, understand what you really want here. Do you want to stay with this person? Do you want forgiveness? Do you want to move on? You have to figure these things out through deep meditative reflection and prayer. [Please see one of my previous posts about meditation.] You need to get serious with your true self [your divinity] and tune out all of the noise. In order to be honest with others, you first have to be honest with yourself.

After you complete that process, I believe you will gain clarity and move forward with a clear head and a clear understanding of where you are going. Once you know where you want to go, you will be able to make the difficult choices to free yourself and find peace to move in the direction you have chosen. Change is not always easy because we get comfortable with the way things are. But when you know what you really want, you make those changes with the knowledge that you are being true to  you and following your purpose. There is tremendous power in that realization and you are then able to open yourself up to the temporary discomfort caused by the change.

With that said, you must understand that you cannot control another person’s reactions…you can only control your own. Be ready to accept whatever comes with patience and understanding. Being honest with yourself and others frees you both to make choices based on reality, not fiction. No real joy comes from being in a fake relationship. You both need to be free to be you.

YOU POSSESS EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO RESOLVE THIS! You are a child of God…how could anything be impossible? YOU WILL find your way…YOU will FIND PEACE! I know YOU CAN DO THIS!

Love and light,

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