We all have a seed of anger in the depth of our consciousness. Even the Buddha said that a monk has the right to be angry, but not for more than one night. The goal is not to suppress our anger, but to take care of it…to heal it…through mindfulness.
When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment, he needs help.
If we think of anger as a seed, it is watered through what we consume with our mouth, eyes, ears, and consciousness. What we eat, see on TV, or hear in conversation can be toxic. It may contain anger or frustration, which you may ingest and express later on. If you drink alcohol mindfully, you can understand that it creates suffering. The intake of alcohol causes disease to the body and mind, and results in deaths on the road. Even the habit energy that is formed by seeing a parent constantly react with anger can be transmitted. We have to live in such a way that we stop consuming the things that poison us and intoxicate us.
Most of the time, anger is born from a wrong perception. You may have misunderstood what you heard or saw. You may have the wrong idea of what had been said or done. You believe that your misery has been created by another person. But, in fact, when faced with the same situation, another person may not have gotten angry at all. Through your anger, you have created the hell inside you.
When anger is present in us, we should refrain from reacting, namely from speaking or doing anything. We are first responsible for calming our own anger. If you chose to respond to a person that is making you suffer, he will try to find relief by making you suffer more. The result is an escalation of suffering on both sides. Only compassion can stop this vicious cycle.
How to heal anger and find peace: