August 9, 2016

FLY FREE

Sometimes when we invest so much into an idea, person, or life, we focus our attention on attainment. When we get what we so desired, we then focus our attention on maintaining.

But when do we stop to ask ourselves if this is what we really wanted? 

Getting what we think we want is always a lesson. For me, the lesson is always one of letting go. We have to let go of our expectations of how things are going to be (expectations blind us to reality). We have to let go of what we invested in attainment (that was simply the cost of the experience…think of it as a college course). And, most difficult, we have to let go of what is no longer serving us.

It is the most difficult because it sounds the most selfish. But really, it is the most vital to our health and wellbeing. If the idea that inspired us turns into the enterprise that drains us, you can be sure that our health and happiness is impacted by the drain. If being with the person you thought you wanted to build a life with makes you feel more alone or more drained than you were when you were single, you are pulling yourself under water. If the life you worked so hard to build for yourself makes you feel trapped in any way — a job that you don’t want, a house that you can’t afford, or things that you don’t need — stress and anxiety are sure to follow.

When we are in these situations, it can be difficult to see a way out. How does one cancel a career dream? Or leave someone they care about? Or create a new life? The answer is simple, they choose.

We are only limited by our imagination. Around the world, people are living lifestyles that we may automatically consider primative. But when psychological studies show that these people as happier and more content with the life they have than the so called “first world” countries, who is really getting it right?

We must not allow ourselves to be confined by our limited view of what we think is possible. We can not hold ourselves back by being trapped in what we think we need.

Letting go is an art. It is having faith in a greater reality and state of being. It is appreciation for lessons learned. It is knowing when it’s time to go.

Intuition guides us on timing. But we have to be ready to make the choice. If we are not ready, God will give us more and more information to confirm what we already felt. Eventually we get the message. But letting go is hard. It means that we have to acknowledge that maybe we were holding on to a dream. And it means that we have to give up fear of a different future. We feel comfortable in what we know…even if it is uncomfortable. Our life becomes like a beautiful pair of shoes that we love because of the style…but feel pain walking in after a certain amount of time. We keep walking in them because we don’t want to be barefoot…and they are so beautiful, maybe it’s worth a little pain?

But you are made of stardust. Your life is not meant to be painful. You are meant to fly! So first, you must put down all of the things that are keeping you grounded. A bird does not fly with a backpack on. You, too, must put down your baggage…emotional, mental, and material…to fly free. It is your birthright.

 

Photo source: fly free

August 5, 2016

SUFFERING

Suffering is not wanting to get up to go to work.

Suffering is being a relationship that doesn’t make you shine.

Suffering is battling illness.

Suffering not having enough money to live the life you want.

Suffering is dealing with toxic people.

SUFFERING IS A STATE OF MIND.

It is easy to feel trapped in situations. Feeling stuck in a job you don’t want or a relationship that doesn’t provide the kind of love you need seems almost normal. Dealing with the repetitive cycle of waking up to a life that you don’t recognize…a life that you don’t remember choosing can be heartbreaking. It’s easy to wonder, ‘How did I get here?!’ The reality is that our lives are a result of a series of choices that we have made. Even if we could not have changed certain situations that happened to us, we still have a choice in determining how we deal with the situation.

So suffering becomes a thing we do unconsciously. We may try to cope by eating sweet things, drinking alcoholic things, buying things we don’t need, or doing things we later regret. We do these things in an attempt to escape a reality that we don’t want to face. We don’t see that the prison is one we’ve made for ourselves.

But pain always spills over. We don’t even realize that, in our suffering, we feel a little better if we make another person suffer too. We feel less alone in our struggle. It may even be a struggle that we don’t understand. We may not even realize that we want the other person to suffer too.

We desperately want to know how to stop suffering. The only way to do this, quite simply, is to make different choices. But change is hard. We want all of the things that we think are making us comfortable. We don’t want to let go of the safety nets that we’ve created for ourselves.  Our thoughts of victimhood comfort us. Our possessions can trap us.

I remember the moments leading up to my move from Cape Verde. I’ll admit that I had a few vehicles that I wasn’t sure how to let go of haha But I had to ask myself, was this car or that motorcycle worth my freedom?

Letting go is never easy. We learn to become comfortable in our suffering. It is familiar. It’s a known quantity. Change can feel like Pandora’s box. If we let go of all of these things, what will be left of us? How will we define ourselves? How do I start over? What if I fail?

The thing is, failure is always measured based on our expectations. We can get our cues from society — seeking to emulate what we see on TV and what we hear in music — but this is very dangerous. You are making a conscious choice to define yourself based on other people’s standards. First you have to define what success looks like to you by more value based metrics. Is it financial freedom? A love without betrayal? A career based on providing services to others for causes you believe in? It is necessary to get beyond the images of success based on the car, the house, or the job title. These things are meaningless. And when you obtain them, you will quickly focus on the next thing you need to acquire. Desire and suffering go hand in hand. Both know no bounds.

Suffering is also caused by worries about others. Worrying about others is a distraction. It gives us something to do to avoid cleaning up our own house. Worry is useless.

So break free of your prison by flipping the script. Shake yourself out of your normal patterns to gain perspective. Take bold moves to get free. Let go of the ties that bind you. Even if you don’t feel able to make a life change right away, focus on making small changes in your thought patterns. Remember that you’ve survived all of the times that you thought would break you. God is faithful. Remember that everything you’re enduring is optional. Break yourself out of the prison you have created for yourself.

The world is big and possibilities are endless. You are only bound by the limits you place on yourself. With faith, you can experience more than you thought was possible. With faith, you will find that everything you need comes to you when you need it — no sooner and no later. All we must do is trust that and be as willing to let go as we were to receive.

Placing a butterfly in a jar is unnatural. Seeing a butterfly fly free in nature is true beauty. Don’t place yourself in a jar ;)

 

Photo source: butterfly

July 21, 2016

THE MOST VITAL THING IN LIFE

When you feel like saying something

That you know you will regret

Or keenly feel an insult

Not quite easy to forget,

That’s the time to curb resentment

And maintain a mental peace

For when your mind is tranquil,

All your ill thoughts simply cease.

It is easy to be angry

When defrauded or defied,

To be peeved and disappointed

If your wishes are denied;

But to win a worthwhile battle

Over selfishness and spite,

You must learn to keep strict silence

Though you know you’re in the right.

So keep your mental balance

When confronted by a foe,

Be it enemy in ambush

Or some danger that you know.

If you are poised and tranquil

When all around is strife,

Be assured that you have mastered

The most vital thing in life.

by Grenville Kleiser

Photo source: Beach bliss

Selena Sage note: This is a beautiful poem that I memorized for an assignment in high school years ago! It is a poem I still remember and love <3 

July 21, 2016

PATIENCE

During my stretches this morning, I asked for the lesson I was meant to learn and share today. The message that came into my awareness was patience. Honestly, patience is a concept that I’ve always had a little trouble with…haha I appreciate immediate results, but this is not always practical or in our best interests. In many ways, I feel that God has directed me to live on an island (where everything is typically much, much slower) to help me to really live and learn patience. I decided it would be a good exercise to reflect on patience and share some thoughts ;)

So what is patience? It’s defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. I like this definition. To me, it implies the underlying basis of patience — which is faith. Patience requires faith that everything is going to work out. But the catch is that it might not work out according to your expectations. I believe that the Universe operates so that the highest good will be fulfilled. The reality is that the highest good is not centered around every single want and need that you might have.

So what does this mean? It means that we must not become anxious or annoyed every single time something doesn’t work out our way. We have to zoom out and focus on the bigger picture. We have to force ourselves to look deeper into our situation and understand all that we must be grateful for. We must accept that, even though we may not see it yet, the current situation is intended to teach us something. What we are learning is likely the basis of inspiration for what we are meant to share with others. If we become overwhelmed, frustrated, or impatient, we miss the point.

“Do you have the patience to wait 
Till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
Till the right action arises by itself?”  

– Lao-tzu

When we are unsettled, we become anxious. Making decisions based on feelings of anxiety can lead to more anxiety. Waiting a day, or even a week, to make a decision is often something we have the luxury of doing. However, in an unsettled state, we can feel the need to make the decision right away. If we allow ourselves calm moments of reflection, the answer usually comes to us. 

So, patience is also a practice of stepping away from the situation we are focused on to gain perspective. And meditation is a powerful way to interrupt negative thought patterns and create a calm environment which can restore the flow of divine inspiration.

No mud, no lotus is a Buddhist saying that I think captures the essence of what can happen if we allow our perceived suffering to be transformed. We recognize that every moment or situation may not meet our expectations, but we have faith that everything is happening for the highest good. Through this understanding, we are calm — which is another way of saying that we are patient. Our ability to move through challenges with patience and grace transforms us. Through our awareness, we grow to accept delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious…and, in doing so, we become the lotus.

Photo source: Lotus growing in mud

July 18, 2016

MEDITATION FOR THE MONKEY MIND

In Buddhism, ‘monkey mind’ is often used to refer to the endless chatter of the mind. There is an excellent video on YouTube, click here, in which Mingyur Rinpoche (a Tibetan Buddhist Master) simply outlines a meditative approach to calm the monkey mind. So much appreciation for sharing meditation in such an accessible way!

The mind loves to be busy. Even when we wake, the first thing that may come to mind is all of the things we need to do! Stress can be caused by the mounting worry that we haven’t done all that we need to do. As a result, our day can become a blur as we get swept away in all of the activities we feel that we need to achieve. We lose touch with what is real and what really matters.

In these times, we simply need to take a breath. Meditative moments, as I like to call them, allow us to break the cycle of our monkey mind and be free. As we concentrate on our breath, we are centering ourselves in the present moment.

Peace is just a breath away ;)

 

Photo source: Buddhist monks meditating 

 

July 18, 2016

ELEVATE YOUR ENERGY

The plane of worry, fear, and doubt is like a stagnant pool of water. Disease breeds in stagnant water. This is a lower realm, and it’s easy to rest in this space. The mind is free to stay constantly busy analyzing worries, fears, and doubts while supplying other evidence to confirm what you believe to be true.

Elevating your energy above this plane is an active step. When you knowingly detach from the lower plane and move into a space without those worries, fears, and doubts, your mind becomes free. Here, everything flows and you’ve entered a creative space. If you welcome inspiration, it will join you. But if you become bored, or feel like you’re not accomplishing anything in this higher state, your mind will naturally drift back down to the lower realm. In that realm, it has many things to do.

The mind loves to be ‘busy.’ But busyness is the opposite of peace. Peace is stillness. It is not allowing the energy of your body to be hijacked by lower (lesser) energies. Be still is a Bible verse that is coming into my awareness at present. Meditation, too, is about being still and settling the mind. But even in meditation, one can focus on breathing or mantras to assist your mind with ascending to another plane (I recently saw an excellent video about this, which I think is deserving of its own post).

We must first have an awareness that we are actively in the lower energy plane of worry, fear, and doubt. Anxiety is an indicator that we might be in this space. Often, the energy we express in this fear based state is toxic. It can drive positive energy away from us. Remember, we only get what we give. Light is life. Be light.

It is worth saying that though there may be evidence to substantiate our lower energies, when we actively move to the higher plane, we are assured that everything will happen in its own time. We are assured that we will make the correct decisions when we need to make them. We understand that these lessons are intended to teach us something. We find peace.

Remember, peace is an inside job. External sources can only grant you temporary distraction. The Kingdom of Heaven lies within. Every creation carries pieces of the Creator. When we recognize our divine nature, worry becomes nonsensical.

I wish you stillness and peace.

Namaste.

 

Photo source: blue sky

July 10, 2016

WHAT IS FREEDOM?

America is often called the “Land of the free,” but ‘America’ was founded as a result of the slaughter of millions of Native Americans. ‘America’ was built by slaves, brought to the nation, mostly from Africa, against their will. Even after the Emancipation Proclamation, the slaves and their descendants were never truly granted equal rights. For years after, segregation created separation amongst the people…with different doors and water fountains for ‘Whites’ and ‘Colored’ people.  And now, little more than 50 years after the Civil Rights Movement, America is facing new crises. Gun violence is out of control. Police are killing innocent men, women, and children daily, but statistics are clearly showing that the dominant majority of those deaths are happening to black people. The statistics for the prisons (many are privately owned, which is for another discussion), show that black persons make up a disproportionately high percentage of the prison populations.

The shocking part of all this is that people become temporarily shocked and outraged, and then they move on with what they were doing before. More horrifying to me are citizens who can explain away every incident and find a way to blame the victim. It’s almost as if the history of America has desensitized us to the atrocities that are happening. It is frightening.

I have the luxury of thinking and writing about these things from outside of America, now. In Cabo Verde, I actually feel free. And so, I have been asking myself what does it mean to be free?  What is freedom? And how does one become free?

freedom is safety

To feel free, one must feel safe. You must feel that your family, friends, and neighbors are also safe. I think there are three basic options in this regard:

1. Hope for the best. This is an optimistic point of view, but it’s the easiest. It allows you to move on with life in the hopes that no tragedy will befall your or your loved ones.

2. Do something about it. This response requires action, and therefore, bravery. Talking about it, even on social media, can inspire positive dialogue and change. Peaceful protests, calls to elected officials, and voting only for representatives who reflect your views of equality are forms of action. Participating in boycotts intended to raise awareness of inequalities has also been historically effective (e.g. The Montgomery Bus Boycotts of 1955-56). Societal change is often the result of those who bravely fight for equal rights.

3. Move. Some see this as a cowardly option (the message that it’s better to stay and fight rather than run away is projected in our society in many ways), but I believe it requires the most courage. The unknown is always terrifying. But I think self-preservation is tremendously important. Moving doesn’t necessarily mean leaving the country, but it can involve leaving an unsafe community or a repressive state. Sometimes the peace of mind you are able to gain by feeling safer can allow you to more effectively promote positive change. You will also be able to promote that positive change with a feeling of empathy for those who are in a situation you were previously in before the change.

I feel that I’ve lived a combination of each of these three options. (I even feel like I can relate these three options to my experiences in corporate America!) Without hesitation, I can say that moving to a country without racial division and police brutality has given me the most peace. It feels like a privilege to live in a place where you don’t have to educate your children on how to talk to police to minimize their risk of getting shot. (How crazy is that?! haha) It is a nice and welcome change that I think everyone deserves to experience. Even during the Civil Rights Movements, many leaders spent time in Africa (Nina Simone and Malcolm X come to mind). Now that I’m living here, I think a large part of it was to recharge their batteries and to be reminded of what unity feels like. Even in the most predominately black and unified neighborhood in America, I can say the feeling  of togetherness only touches on what the experience of Africa is like. The media truly distorts the beauty of the continent and the people.

 

Freedom is health

Health is one’s greatest wealth. Being healthy gives one choices and mobility to be free. But saying this, freedom is always a state of mind. Even in the face of poor health, one can feel free simply by changing their perspective.

However, I still believe in promoting healthy habits. A state of health opens up more energy pathways for your mind, body, and spirit to be in alignment. Taking time to eat well, meditate, rest, exercise, and pray (especially sending positive vibrations to others) are all healthy habits to consider incorporating into your life.

 

freedom is wealth

I think saying ‘wealth’ immediately conjures up thoughts of being a billionaire. But now I think of wealth as financial freedom. It’s having $0 balances and savings that allow you do what you want.  It’s about not having stress when bills are due.

Especially in America, we’re taught from a young age to be CONSUMERS. Name brands, fancy cars, and nice homes are celebrated and used to create social caste systems…even in elementary school! The right lunchbox, backpack, and sneakers can make you a cool kid. All of these social cues teach you that the right clothes and the right things are what you need to fit in. Often this translates to spending significant amounts of money later in life on things. Acquiring these things can result in the accumulation of debt which creates a spiral of dependence on employment.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. Employment in and of itself is not a bad thing! It is the dependence which can restrict freedom. There are many more capable financial gurus than me, but I think it boils down to becoming less comfortable with debt and more focused on getting rid of it. Spending less and saving more is always the most basic formula for accumulating wealth. Investing, starting businesses, and creating new streams of income help to provide new pathways to save more. With that financial freedom, you become able to do more of what you want.

Here are some quick tips:

1. Start with identifying the areas where you spend the most and figure out what you can do to decrease that amount.

2. Next, ask yourself if what you’re buying is satisfying a “want” or a “need”? Satisfy needs and bypass wants in favor of your bigger dreams.

3. Focus on paying for things completely. It can be tempting to buy now and pay later, but this eventually limits your choices…and ultimately, your freedom.

4. Finally, save as much as you can! This will allow you room to creatively invest in the stock market, retire early, or travel. Always keep a “do not touch” amount so that you have a safety cushion. That amount will vary by person, but it becomes an important factor in how free you will feel as you leave a place of employment or embark on a new path.

 

freedom is having time for your passions

Basic needs come first. Once you’ve knocked out food, shelter, and clothing (how much clothing do you really need?), freedom means having the luxury to find and enjoy your passions. Whether they be people, projects, or places…being able to commit time to these pursuits is a gift. And it’s where you discover the gifts you’re meant to share with the world. Whether you feel you have time or not, please make a little space (even if it’s just 5 minutes per day!) to show love to yourself by developing your passions. Your future self will thank you. And the world will be richer for it.

 

freedom = NO anxieties, fears, or limiting beliefs

I think this is the most important requirement for freedom. Anxieties, fears, and worry are distractions that prevent one from seeing how beautiful things can truly be. When these negative energies rule our lives, our vision is clouded. We can become stuck or move backwards.

Being free means letting go of any thought (or person, place, thing)  that tries to keep us from our clear vision of a beautiful future. We are Creators and we have the power to create new realities for ourselves. First, we must believe that we can.

 

freedom is a state of mind

Philosopher Gurdjieff proposes that in our ordinary state we are asleep.  In this state of sleep, many of us live our entire lives without being aware that something more is possible.  We imagine ourselves to be fully conscious and fully developed.  This illusion prevents us from seeing our situation and, especially, ourselves as we really are.  Gurdjieff expressed this very clearly:  “If a man in prison was at any time to have a chance of escape, then he must first of all realize that he is in prison.”

Our freedom is dependent upon us first understanding the ways in which we are not free. If we understand which choices are keeping us in a prison of our own creation, we can get free. Changing perceptions, habits, and choices comes after that. Change often feels uncomfortable at first, but we could be moving ourselves into a direction beyond what we previously thought possible. Isn’t that worth a risk? ;)

I consider myself so fortunate to feel free in this moment. I’ll close with the hope that in our continuing journey to get free that we might extend a hand back to help others on the same path. As we see ourselves in others, we experience Oneness. I truly believe that this is the awakening that will change the tragedies in America and other foreign lands that remain divided over things as insignificant as the melanin content of skin.

Let us be the change we wish to see in the world. And may you be free.

Namaste.

 

Photo source: Oneness with all  

July 5, 2016

BECOMING POLISHED

How can you become polished if you are irritated by every rub?

It is easy to have expectations for other people. Wouldn’t the world be wonderful if others said and did what we wanted, when we wanted, how we wanted?!

There is an analogy I’ve always appreciated from comedian George Carlin: On the highway, why is it that anyone driving faster than us is a crazy driver? And anyone driving slower than us cannot drive?

The reality is that if we perceive another person’s actions as wrong, we are always right by default. But does someone else have to be wrong for us to be right?  Can we find the ‘right’ in the ‘wrong’ we perceive in another person? Can we learn to accept another person’s perspective without trying to force them to make changes?

If we are able to accept without judgement and love without expectation, we free ourselves from constant judgement and irritation. I don’t believe this means blind acceptance…but if we remain open, each moment creates an opportunity for communication to increase understanding.

As we open ourselves to understanding, we become polished. We see ourselves reflected in others. We are reminded again that we are One.

Namaste.

 

 

Photo source: Stone Buddha

July 5, 2016

TRUST

Even though life is fleeting, trust is fragile.

Unhappiness finds us when we overthink.

Understanding can only be gained by experience and communication.

But in the end, we must let go.

Squeezing the stone harder will not produce milk.

Trust finds its own way and blossoms over time.

Just as we cannot expect the flower to bloom after one day of water,

We must be equally patient in the matters of men.

And we must add kindness and care, like water.

But when it’s time to go, we must go.

 

Photo source: Letting Go

 

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