I read an interesting quote this morning which said, “The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work that you should be doing for the rest of your life.” (Jessica Hirsche) I like to think of it in terms of creation…what do you love to create? I feel that we all have a creative – Read More –
DEAR SAGE: I love your website! Your content is inspiring and I appreciate what you do, but I’m going to be blunt: I hate my life! I want to quit my job, but I’m scared to lose the money and don’t know what else I would do. I want to lose weight, but I’m scared to go to the gym because people may laugh at me. I want a new car because I hate the old one I have now, but I can’t afford it. I want to have a husband, but I don’t think anyone would love me. Should I just take a vacation…will that help me??!!! Help me please!
DEAR UNHAPPY ONE: Thank you for your support of the site (given the complex nature of your question, I’m going to include lots of links to other SelenaSage articles that give extra insight)! I looooove your the honesty of your question (I can bet you that each part of your question will resonate with someone else) and we’re going to see how we can work on this for you! But, first, let’s take a deep breath… With this breath we’re going to try something different…as you’re inhaling through your nose, I want you to breathe in all of the problems of the world…hate, violence, poverty, despair. And as you exhale through your mouth, I want you to breathe out your love, compassion, and kindness. Just think of those things as you breathe, then close your eyes and repeat five times. Just like that, you’ve shared your love with the world!
Now that we have a clean slate and have anchored ourselves in the present, let’s get to your inquiry. I can tell you that the first thing I noticed about your question is the number of times you used, “I” and “want”. Though a discussion of this was probably best summed up in my I WANT… post, I can tell you that your Ego is running the show right now! Your Ego is that part of you that is constantly telling you that what you haven’t isn’t good enough and always wants more. One of my favorite quotes my the Taoist master Lao-tzu is, “Only those who know when enough is enough will ever have enough.” Right now, you are not content…you don’t think that you have enough, so your basis is flawed. Even if you got everything you’re asking for, I can tell you that you still would not be satisfied. How do I know this? It is because everything you now have is something that you once hoped for, but still you are not happy. So let’s break down your list:
You say, “I hate my life!” So let me ask you, what is your “life” to you? By your question, it seems that your life is your job, your car, your body, and your hopes for a husband? Let me first challenge that. For one second, close your eyes and place your hand over your heart. Do you feel your heart beat? When you inhale through your nose, do you feel the air moving into your body? That, my dear, is life. All of those other things are material trappings. They have nothing to do with who you really are. And who are you? You are a child of the Creator of the universe…does your car really matter? If you talk to a bird in nature, does the color of their nest really matter? Everything external can be changed, it is the internal…the spirit that really matters. So if you really hate the divine spirit inside of you, you must practice looking inward much more. I think that once you see your own true glow, you will find this to be the most beautiful thing ever :)
So with this understanding, I hope that the perceived importance of your other questions has paled. However, I want to address them anyway. First, you say you want to quit your job. I have a future post coming about “Comparison versus Contentment”, but because you’re an avid reader, I’m going to give you a sneak peak into the content :) Many would tell you to be happy that you have a job because many people do not…but this is comparison. As long as you have more than someone else, you will be happy…but as soon as you find someone who has more than you, you will no longer be happy. So this is flawed. Contentment comes a sincere appreciation for what you have.
Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. ~ Robin Casarjian
I’ve always loved water. I find it calming, beautiful, and powerful. Water’s power lies in its ability to patiently wear down anything and wash away everything. Given enough time, water will turn the sharpest rock into a smooth pebble. Water feeds the earth (rain) and washes it away (flood). Water is always changing…one can never step into the same river twice.
Water is my favorite element, and I could probably go on for some time about all of its qualities, but today I invite you to reflect with me on water’s constantly changing nature. Water that’s stagnant becomes a breeding ground for bacteria and disease. It is not the true nature of water to be stagnant…it is meant to move. Even a lake that looks still on the surface has an undercurrent of energy and movement that we just can’t see.
When we choose to be stagnant, and unwilling to flow with nature, we lay the groundwork for illness. When we choose not to forgive, we become stuck…stagnant. We create a prison for ourselves where we suffer…and through our suffering, make others suffer as well. Without intending to, we extend our original suffering to others and continue the vicious cycle. We learn what we live, and often repeat the same actions that caused us so much pain. Forgiveness is the only key out of this prison…it is the only way to stop this cycle. (Healing with Truth)
When we become like water, we flow through life…we forgive others (even when we don’t understand why they made us suffer, we understand it is because they are suffering and truly need help: Peace). We bring life to the earth with our renewing smiles and positive attitude and our willingness to share our gifts. And we recognize that everything changes…we learn to let go and move on. In so doing, we demonstrate beauty, strength, and peace.
Water teaches us how, but remember…forgiveness is for you.
I like this comic…it reminds of the puzzle I faced when I first began studying Eastern wisdom traditions. When one is studying Zen or the Tao, it can be confusing to constantly be reminded to “do nothing” or “go with the flow.” Does that mean you’re actually supposed to do nothing?? My short answer to that – Read More –
A ballad singer studied under a strict teacher who insisted that he rehearse day after day, month after month the same passage from the same song, without being permitted to go any further. Finally, overwhelmed by frustration and despair, the young man ran off to find another profession. One night, stopping at an inn, he – Read More –
“Do not think that you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania. Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly into darkness.” – Lao-tzu Knowledge can never become wisdom without practice. Masters become masters – Read More –
“What do you really want to do? DO THAT…forget the money. If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You will be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living…that is to go on doing things you don’t like – Read More –