Last night, I received a call from a friend who is also a supporter of the site (thank you!). She asked me an important question, “Selena…you write a lot of great content about having control over yourself regardless of what other people do. I’m in a relationship that doesn’t make me happy, where I am being emotionally abused, does that mean I should be stronger and stay in it so I don’t let what he says effect me?”
I’m so happy that we had the conversation and I wanted to share my response…and dedicate this song to that friend. I told her that even though having control of oneself is of paramount importance, to quote Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Be not deceived, evil companions corrupt good morals.” I am a firm believer of helping those you can and distancing yourself from those who seek to do you harm. Those people (who seek to harm you) need help, and you may not be the person to help them…they have to recognize and seek help for themselves.
There is no wisdom in consistently spending time with someone who continues to try to bring you down. Unfortunately that person can have the effect of bringing you down through the sheer overwhelming force of their negative energy, persistence, and bad habits. So I encourage anyone in an abusive situation (emotional, physical, and/or spiritual) to recognize their ability to freely leave and build a more positive life for themselves. That is true self-love. And it is only through loving yourself that you are able to love others. In having the courage to value yourself enough to leave an abusive situation, life will reward you with more love than you thought possible…that can only come when you love yourself.
“You don’t have to stay with someone who makes you cry…you’ll end up killing all the love you have inside. You deserve so much more than you receive…don’t hold on to your pain, just let it go.”
I appreciate Boyz II Men for creating this beautiful song!